That Drifting Excrement Was Way Too Meaningful! These Are the TV Letdowns of the Past Year.

As we reflect on the television landscape of the past year, a handful of shows emerge not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular shortcomings. From awkward spin-offs to confusingly poor docuseries, here are the productions that had us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

How to start with this love/hate follow-up? Plagued with woeful scripts, painful character development (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the final series started, it seemed as if it had at last hit its stride. Then came an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the final season. It ended on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was just way too on-the-nose. Still, fans undeniably found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the smallest of this show's issues. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon no-star assessment, it was hard to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The laughably wooden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of affluence and materialism? The seemingly wilful parade of cliches? Performances so poor they felt borderline spiteful? Let’s just say “each and every one” and forget about this show again. Except, a new season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Given the legal troubles, abuse claims and fatherly shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d really have known it from this three-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any pity this series might evoke should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charismatic but dismissive egotist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.

The Gangster Drama

Shady characters meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.

Actually, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were plenty of other problems. Primarily that it was just really dull; a dispute over narcotics territory between various London rogues which felt a bit basic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Considering the extent to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee lifestyle as intentional statements. But then you watch them and are compelled to admit that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue animated; a poster for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark sayings and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are obviously fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, self-image, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this three-part series opted not to say them. Rather, the viewing was like reading a sales brochure. She clearly has good reason to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even camper, with a famous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too confusing to explain what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up reeking of a programme that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it.

Too Much

How does one follow a show that defined a generation? The pressure was immense for this starry romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of famous friends involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the shrewd inclusion of gifted emerging comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a single joke milked to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be handled with care. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lumbering from strangely breezy, somewhat mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A complete mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We admire the star … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? No! This international thriller about government agencies spying on – and eliminating – intellectuals honestly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This hagiography followed the content creator renowned for explicit exploits as she prepared for her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was way more examination of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who appeared to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific shots and absolutely no interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.