How to Talk Romance Like Gen Z: Fifty-One Hyperspecific Phrases for Love, Intimacy and Questionable Conduct

This year signifies a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” entered the mainstream. Initially, the idea that someone could abruptly cease communication with a lover without explanation seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, navigating toward a mate has only become more perplexing – an commonly unsuccessful endeavor in humiliation that is increasingly defined by online slang.

Zoomers, a demographic who grew up during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a concerted attack on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their Gen Y elders could ever fathom. And so their romantic glossary has grown longer and more deranged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” straining the limits of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a extensive breakdown to the words this generation is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

The Letter A

Genuineness – In the view of Zoomers, dating’s ultimate goal is showing up as your true, unvarnished self. You'll need it with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon loosely based on a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you bring up something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s response is engaged or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Zoomers' response to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while exuding mystery and independence. (She may yet have that fringe.)

C

Support test – This signifies choosing someone who helps you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people bond while running errands, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do budget-friendly romance in a inflation-era world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a crush or breakup, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a marker of 80s yuppie affluence, it refers to partners who opt out of having children to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The antithesis of playing it cool: utilizing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Flags

• Red flags – Behavioral habits suggesting a prospective partner is trouble. For instance calling their former partners unstable, subpar tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions confirm your decision to pursue a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, having a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe specific, mostly inoffensive idiosyncrasies. For instance being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their wallet, paying rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who hates the same stuff or people that you do (nothing builds intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group many young men likes.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The rare partner who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully delaying climax so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An ideal touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and happily domestic, who apparently has no aspirations of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Random and often mundane dealbreakers that immediately extinguish any sense of desire.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an incredibly thoughtful display.

J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be waning since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy authentic.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {