Courage, soldier. Ben Stokes's team might be approaching the third Ashes Test now 2-0 down, however not everyone among supporters is deterred. There is one collective ideally equipped for such a situation, a dedicated unit who consider themselves the quintessential experts in defeat. Is optimism crushed? Do you feel the weight beneath the weight of crushing defeat? Then it's time, enlist with the Barmy Army.
As we speak, their advance guard are moving in on Adelaide, the city where they officially formed 30 years ago. England's best-known – and per capita most vocal – tourist followers will be anticipating an triumphant anniversary upset, like the one they saw on that historic tour. Furthermore no matter the outcome on the pitch, away from the field the parties will be protracted and hearty.
"The on-field action been extremely disappointing," one founder concedes, "however we're the blessed group, because we're on holiday. It's likely harder for the people at home."
Despite a dramatic batting collapse doesn't trouble this group of battle-tested followers. They've been enduring England's innings meltdowns since prior to a new generation were born. They've observed more dropped catches than some bowlers have career scalps. Their collective record as an Ashes touring group reads: a long history with more defeats than victories. The people who knows how to survive a clean sweep, that would be the founding members.
Certainly, if you're watching, the Barmy Army appear to be ubiquitous this series. Host broadcasters at the grounds frequently appear more interested in the Barmies than in their own fans. Broadcasters regularly use them as banter-primed prelude to a day's play. Remarkably the athletes on the field are heralding them, with someone clad as a royal figure conducting a chorus of a national hymn.
One could argue that the Barmy Army's combination of longevity and visibility has now masked quite how remarkable their rise of tourist following has been. In the early 1990s a small group followers were united in comical humour about failure at England's poor away record. Today their reputation is so synonymous with the men's Test side that their vibrant, "unique" crowd is virtually part of the furniture. They've certainly come a long way since the early days.
One founding member still remembers the excited anticipation of the series start of that pioneering tour. After the Australians making a strong start, he led a six-person conga in the stands, teasing the home fans with a tune about convicts. "Home supporters shouted insults at us, then threw rubbish – the treatment that we sometimes receive today," he says. "But when we got back our little group of England followers had all taken part."
After defeat, England's tour suffered more defeats. Any supporter travelling with the team around the country was considered slightly mad. By the time the later Tests their numbers had swelled significantly. Those on the field, however, came to value their presence at the grounds. When England pulled off a face-saving victory, a star summoned a fan leader up to the players' area to join in the celebrations. This connection remains.
Furthermore, the significant volume the Barmy Army can muster are as attractive to the sport as they are to international stadiums. For this series alone, their organised trips will accommodate thousands of paying travellers. All kinds of events are planned for the three-decade milestone.
This is, ultimately, an organisation born of fan enthusiasm and business acumen. The explanation they trace their origin to a specific Test is because that was when they started selling branded clothing. The limited early stock was so quickly sold out – and lucrative – that it sparked a commercial operation. Since then, the co-founders have helped turn a pub-based supporters into an respected sports tourism business.
That brings its own complexities, particularly at a time when sport is trying to lose some of its rowdy image. The Barmy Army's leadership are quick to note that a growing percentage of their supporters on tour are now female. With societal shifts, the songs have had to get cleaner, too. "Comments that were acceptable 30 years ago you must avoid now, and that's correct," says a director. "It's not possible to tell someone how to behave within the confines of their seat, but we will not promote songs that are insulting."
Will the Barmy Army become more sedate? The average supporter age is now approaching the late 40s – like the founders themselves, who have been pleased to withdraw from the day-to-day running. One founder is savouring this tour purely as a supporter – leaving young professionals to manage the Barmy Army's social media. "It's easy to overlook how challenging it used to be to coordinate with each other," he laughs. "Our method was all by meeting up – 'everyone's going to the pub!'"
Regarding this Ashes series, the faint hope of a series victory still lingers, which is very mid-90s indeed. Should England are defeated in Adelaide … well, the next tour is always an option.
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