Being Gay in Men's Football: A Toxic Environment

“You don't belong on this earth” ... “What are you doing here?” ... “Don't take another breath.”

Since revealing he was gay in 2021, player the athlete has received daily death threats and hateful comments on social media.

“Upon reading those comments, I was devastated,” the player states. “No-one wants to read things like that.

“I'm working to improve my skills and be the best I can be during matches, and then face criticism because of who I am. It's appalling.”

Player Cavallo was at Adelaide United back in 2020 when he became the only openly gay elite soccer player in the world.

This summer he departed from Australia to sign with lower-tier club Peterborough Sports, who compete before audiences of about 400 in the sixth division, the sixth tier of English football.

The 25-year-old combines playing for the semi-professional team by advocating for inclusion matters and leveraging his platform - he has more than one million followers on Instagram - to promote fairness and acceptance.

“Absolutely, we've got mountains to do,” Cavallo says when questioned about ongoing issues with homophobia.

“Rarely a week passes without hearing about an issue.”

‘People want to harm me’

It took years for Cavallo to build up the bravery to say “I'm gay” before revealing his sexuality on 27 October 2021.

“My only desire is compete in soccer and receive fair treatment,” he said in an accompanying video.

The player was 21 and making a name for himself at Adelaide United in Australia's top flight when, backed by his colleagues, he announced his orientation publicly.

“I didn't know what was ahead. I had no expectations,” he says. “It felt like the right time in my life. I needed to move forward.”

His emotional coming out video, entitled ‘His Personal Story’, gained massive attention on social media.

“My phone was flooded with encouraging words. It was overwhelming.”

Liverpool were one of many high-profile clubs around the world to express support for the player, with the coach at the time Jurgen Klopp saying: “I appreciate that he did it because now we talk again.”

Spanish player Gerard Pique also offered support, writing on social media that “the world of football is far behind and you are helping us move forward”, while his former club released a comment backing their “remarkable” and “courageous” player.

Others, however, were less welcoming.

The footballer soon turned into a target of homophobic abuse by opposition fans.

During early 2022 a competing team were penalized five thousand dollars over discriminatory chants from fans aimed toward Cavallo during a match.

“The things I'd hear were hurtful and derogatory towards my community,” he says.

“I didn't react because responding would encourage detractors.”

There was a frightening incident at a gas station in Australia, where the athlete was physically attacked by an individual who identified him from the media attention.

“It was terrifying,” he remembers. “I remember thinking ‘this is real - people want to harm me’.

“Is it acceptable? Definitely not. But by coming out, this is what it brings.

“My wish is that the next person who reveals their orientation while competing in soccer at a professional standard doesn't have to experience the path I have experienced.”

The player says the constant menacing messages and abusive messages have taken a toll on his psychological well-being.

“It's disappointing because I am having to explain why I belong on the soccer pitch for being who I am,” he says.

“Heterosexual players aren't questioned and ask ‘what gives you the right in football?’.

“Many individuals see me as a smiling, optimistic person. But sometimes when I rely on my partner, his name, and he gets to see much of what occurs privately.”

‘Top-tier athlete revealing orientation would create waves’

The player's choice to disclose his orientation helped prompt 17-year-old Blackpool forward another athlete to announce he was gay as the UK's only openly gay playing soccer professional in May 2022.

Nevertheless, there are zero publicly LGBTQ athletes in the Premier League.

“It would move mountains,” says Cavallo on the impact a Premier League player coming out would have.

“But I must be honest. There are a lot of scary things that would come this person's way. In the world of football, being an openly gay player is a highly hostile environment.”

Over two decades after Justin Fashanu - Britain's first openly gay male footballer - took his own life in 1998, Cavallo has discussed the “harmful male culture” that still exists in professional soccer.

“You just need to go to a match and see the hostile environment and male-dominated culture that the crowd brings,” he explains.

“There is still a lot of work to make sure there is a safe space in soccer for individuals like me and Jake.

“Progress has been limited (additional athletes revealing their orientation) as much as we would like.

“I can only keep pushing for what I think is right, and work towards eliminating the harmful male norms in soccer locker rooms and creating a safe space.”

‘My mission is to drive progress’

The player says football has allowed him to have conversations inside dressing rooms about coming out.

However, he is disapproving toward soccer's global governing body, after the Middle Eastern nation, where same-sex relationships are against the law, staged the global tournament in 2022.

Future World Cup will be held in Saudi Arabia, where same-sex attraction is also illegal.

“Do I approve that the global championship is in countries that criminalise same-sex marriages, where people like me will be imprisoned for merely living on that land? It's frightening,” says Cavallo.

“I receive communications [from people living in these countries] saying ‘I face imprisonment for being who I am - is assistance possible?’.

“It's devastating that people are getting locked up for being who they are.

“Certain nations that are huge in terms of football and they reject the queer community. These places that often focus on me.”

Despite this, Cavallo says he won't cease advocating.

“Soccer has enabled dialogue in the changing room. It has allowed me to speak and educate people who want to learn more.

“Not everyone is going to like you for who you are. But I have found my family. I have found my community.

“My mission is to create change. That's what I'm here for.”